Just call me Cupid
by Woozhing
Summary: Ever wonder who messed up Hanamichi's love life? Funny, silly ruhana ficlet.


Disclaimer: Fanfiction based on characters created by Takehiko Inoue in Slam Dunk.

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All I shall say in my defence is that I am not that accurate a shooter. Still in training school, they did tell us that all you have to do is aim the arrow and it will unfailingly reach the intended target. Hah, if only it was that simple. All I can say is I am not the only one whose arrows did not reach the intended targets. Just look around you and you will see what I mean. People are always asking, "What does he/she see in her/him?"

I am Cupid No 30756517530501740. I am one of those little cherubs with a tiny pair of wings who fly around with a bow and arrow. If I shoot an arrow at you, there is nothing you can do but fall in love with the person of the name that I whisper before shooting the arrow. It's a tough job but somebody got to do it.

It's actually a fairly mundane job. Every morning I get a list of the people I have to go shoot arrows at and the names of the people they are to fall in love with. Imagine shooting arrows at five thousand people and whispering the names of another five thousand people every day. I am sure you too will get a teensy weensy tired and your eyes start to get blurry at the end of the day. So that's when your arrows start having minds of their own and finding their own targets.

Most of the time, I managed to rectify some of the mistakes I made but more often than not, the couples by mistake turned up better than expected. The people who were not supposed to fall in love with each other invariably made a better pairing than the original lovers. At least that's what I think so why begrudged these people and unmade the mistakes I had made. Just go with the flow, I often declared to my cupid supervisor who is in danger of going bald from tearing his hair out at me.

"But 3-------- you are making a lot of extra work for us. We have to erase the list of the original lovers and start all over again. In triplicate."

Every pair of lovers that I shot with my arrows has to be recorded in triplicate. Don't ask me why. Just know that bureaucracy exists even in heaven.

"What about that Sakuragi case? Have you finish clearing that one up yet? We are still waiting to close that case."

I shuddered involuntarily. I harrumphed and garrumphed. That was one of my worst nightmare. Sakuragi Hanamichi. The basketball player with tomato red hair. The self-proclaimed tensai. I slowly inched myself backwards.  
"Actually I am just about to go work on that case right now"  
In a trice I had unfurled my lovely wings and made quick my escape.

Seventy cupid eons ago (about fourteen earth months) I was the cupid with the cleanest record. All my arrows reached their intended targets who all fell in love with the names of those I whispered and the records were all kept up-to-date in triplicate. Then one morning I received a list of fifty boys who were to fall in love in the district of Kanagawa in the country of Japan. I twirled myself there in an instance.

As I pulled back the silvery string which always hummed a lovely tune to shoot my first arrow, something dreadful happened as I released the arrow, an athletic young boy with the reddest hair I have ever seen suddenly leapt out of nowhere. The arrow headed straight for him and he fell in love for the first time in his life. I gasped and looked him up in the Who Love Who directory. He was called Sakuragi Hanamichi aged fifteen and he was not supposed to fall in love until he was seventeen.

Well, it couldn't be helped so I quickly made a note to have his record changed in triplicate. Whistling merrily as cupids love making people fall in love, I readied my second arrow. Taking aim, I shot at the boy who was to fall in love with a darling little cheerleader. I couldn't believe it when the arrow suddenly began to zigzag as if it had sprouted eyes and was trying to find its own target. It stopped suddenly and then rushed pell mell right into the heart of a boy with red hair. It was Sakuragi Hanamichi again!

I shot the third, fourth, fifth arrows and all three went seeking for Sakuragi. By this time I was trembling with trepidation. I could not leave Kanagawa without shooting the fifty arrows or there would be hell to pay. This Sakuragi boy was like an arrow magnet that day. All fifty arrows went flying to him. He felt in love fifty times and had his heart broken fifty times. It was a record that has not been broken since.

I flew home in a cold sweat and I had never been the same since. Hardly a day went by without me making the occasional blunder. Then I was sent back to Kanagawa for the matching of a perfect couple - Akagi Haruko and Rukawa Kaede. Shooting an arrow into Haruko was easy and pure joy as the girl was already enamoured of the dashing basketball player. When it was Rukawa's turn, I lined up the arrow all ready to shoot when who should come into a part of my view but a tall youth with fiery hair.  
"Sakuragi Hanamichi!" I involuntarily whispered as the arrow left the bow and flew straight into the heart of the raven-haired boy ...

So here I am back again in Kanagawa to try and make amends. I fly into the Shohoku gym where I know I will find Rukawa training alone after basketball practice. Sure enough I can see him dribbling and shooting the ball. I line up my arrow ready to shoot at him once he stops to rest. After performing a flawless three pointer, Rukawa walks over to a bench to get his towel to wipe his face. Perfect! I pull the arrow back when deja vu as a flash of brilliant red enters my vision.

Sakuragi Hanamichi! Shocked by his sudden appearance, my hands automatically move to him instead of Rukawa and release the arrow. However since cupids are prevented from whispering the name of the person we are shooting at, by reflex I whisper the name of the other person in my view.  
"Rukawa Kaede."

I watch in horror as Sakuragi feels the effect of the arrow immediately. His normally aggressive expression changes to one of rapture as he gazes upon the object of his desire. Rukawa removes the towel from his face and sees Sakuragi staring at him. He asks the redhead a question and a strange hot look comes over his face when Sakuragi nods his head eagerly. Rukawa rushes towards Sakuragi and the two boys engage in a very passionate kiss.

Sighing I fly out of the gym to give the boys some privacy. Actually they make quite a cute couple. I just have to find another lover for Haruko and I think I know the right candidate - Mito Youhei. Now back home again to convince my supervisor of the perfectness of my accidental coupling. At least he will be pleased that he can finally close the Sakuragi case!

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End file.
